December 4, 2009


I wrote the poem below on 11/19/09...

I do not know
How to be a girlfriend
When to hug
How to act
What to expect
I'm sorry J*****
I suck at this
But I also do not have
Any experience
To draw from
I've watched others
Who I've seen their relationships
From the beginning
Sex, drugs, pregnancy
Emulating their choices
Could end horribly
I've seen movies
Relationships start accidentally
French kissing on the first date
In bed with each other
On the second
Utilizing that framework
Would not be a good idea
Other relationships I see
Married friends
Friends who have been dating longer
Do they even apply?
Suggestions come at me
From all sides
How fast to go
(you gotta keep his interest)
How slow to go
(do not be a slut)

ok so it is sort of an unfinished poem...

Here is what has been going on lately...

I am trying to decide if I want to be an RA next would mean not graduating in three years, and graduating in 3.5 instead...which would still be ok...

Also in regards to the poem, I went on a date with a guy friend of mine. It was a good date, but he wanted to hang out right away the whole weekend. I hung out with him two nights that weekend, one for the date and the other because I went broom-balling with a group from his church. At broom-balling he and another guy friend were saying mean things about a friend of theirs who happens to be my friend's boyfriend...and they happen to be friends with my friend as well. Then I was told not to tell my friend about what they said. I am sort of frustrated by this situation. I am the type of person who always puts her friends first. I am not going to tell my friend about what happened because it would hurt her, but that is the only reason. This guy freaked me out by asking too much too soon. Hanging out all weekend after the first date???? YIKES!!! Also, his cousin introduced me as his girlfriend. After one date!!! I haven't really hung out with him since. I still like him but I am not sure that I want to date him until I get to know him a bit better...maybe we can just hang out a bit more together in a group and get to know each other better that way...idk...i just do not really know what to do...

I have to head to work, I will probably write more on this subject later...

Emmy R.

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