April 22, 2010


so I have been watching this TV show called Parenthood. It is a really great show all about a family and their interactions together. You see hard things that go on from a kid diagnosed with aspergers to rebellious teenagers who hide weed in their backyard to a single mom who falls on hard times and has to move back in with her parents along with her two kids.

I was watching the most recent episode called "Rubber Band Ball" on hulu today. (http://www.hulu.com/watch/143513/parenthood-rubber-band-ball)

at 33min about there is the single mom trying to talk to her daughter. She is trying so hard to understand what is going on. I wish my mom had done that. I wish she had pushed harder, but still knew when to stop. (earlier in this episode the daughter, amber, was in her room and her mom, sarah, wanted to talk and amber just said not now, through tears...and sarah let it go...she gave amber her space, it was the epitome of a perfect interaction) but back to the scene I am at now.

Sarah: you know, i am done trying to control you, it doesn't work.
Amber: you know, i'm fine
Sarah: are you? sometimes I'm not sure. I just don't want us to be like this, i love you so much, i think i'll just try to get along with you and trust you
Amber: ok
Sarah: ok
Amber: I'm meeting Damien, he's picking me up
Sarah: ok

now that I have typed this out I am realizing that it makes no sense out of context. If you want to know the context then watch the episode, actually watch all the episodes. it is an AMAZING show! Not to get all show crazy about this show, but a lot of what goes on just hits me hard and is much deeper than what you would expect from a tv show. These two characters particularly interest me. Maybe because I have never had much of a relationship with my mom...maybe because the two deepest and most intimate conversations I have ever had with my mom went like this:

Me: I...I started my period...[first period]
Mom: well do you have stuff?
Me: nope...
Mom: well just take this [hands me pad] and go to the bathroom...

and the second...

Me: so, I my friend is telling me these things...about drugs and what she does with boys, she is having sex and doing drugs...
Mom: she is probably lying, just forget about it...

wow....those sound even lamer typed out than I already know they are...funnily enough these two conversations happened in the summer before 7th grade and in 7th grade...i was having enough crap going on in my life and my mom just didn't seem to care...she was embarrassed about the period talk and didn't want to believe that a 7th grader could be having sex or into hardcore drugs...(that friend was addicted to crystal meth by the end of 8th grade)

It is no wonder I do not trust her to talk to about this sort of stuff...if i ever have kids (with a husband, adopted or sperm donation) I want my kids to be able to talk to me...i will not shut them down because I am embarrassed...I will not let them believe that they have anything to be embarrassed about...

ok well i really need to get going on my homework...i have a ton of paper due in the next week...

Emmy R.

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