Homesick?

wrote this a few nights ago as I was attempting to fall asleep. I think too much at night and then don't sleep well because I am too anxious about it all. Anyways, without further ado I give you some late night, half asleep and tear filled ramblings.



homesick.
homesick for what?
homesick for the past.
homesick for the easier times.
homesick for friends who know
some of my deepest secrets.
homesick for a lot of things. but technically
i am already home.
what does this mean?
it seems like
my heart
is torn
in two
and i will never truly
be home again.
it is a strange feeling
to be homesick
for somewhere that is not your home
but it holds a piece
of your heart
and it will not let go.

where is my home?
can i ever really be home again?
what if i can not?
what do i do then?
spend my life in one place
with my heart yearning for the other
i wish i could straddle myself between the two
but alas, it is futile
i don't know that my heart can handle this tear
it is so  broken and scarred already
it is weak
weak
and
broken