October 11, 2009

I had my iTunes set to shuffle on my computer and was just listening to random songs as they play...the song "Speechless" by Steven Curtis Chapman started playing...

"Words fall like drops of rain
My lips are like clouds
I say so many things
Trying to figure you out
But as mercy opens my eyes
My words are stolen away
With this breathtaking view of your grace

And I am speechless I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by your wondrous grace
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave
And I am speechless in your presence now
Im astounded as I consider how
You have shown us
A love that leaves us speechless

So what kind of love could this be
That would trade heavens throne for a cross
And to think you still celebrate
Over finding just one who was lost
And to know you rejoice over us
The God of this whole universe
Its a story that's too great for words

Oh how great is the love
The father has lavished upon us
That we should be called
The sons and the daughters of god

We are speechless so amazed
We stand in awe of your grace
We stand in awe of your mercy
You have saved us
We stand in awe of your love
From the grave
We are speechless

We are speechless in your presence now
We stand in awe of your cross
Were astounded as we consider how
We stand in awe of your power
You have shown us
A love that leaves us speechless
We are speechless

I am speechless"

those are the lyrics...here is the song in a youtube video..

anyways...listening to this song made me miss when I used to feel speechless and in awe of God's presence...those days of my life were so much better...i miss them...

and now a song called "I miss you" just came on by Inhabited...which is more like missing a dead friend...but that is besides the point..

I don't really know what to write in here right now...i cut the other day...and I just don't know how I feel about that...part of me just doesn't care...the other part hates myself...

I don't plan on telling the counselor I have been talking to...i didn't even really have a reason why I cut...i guess someone insulted me...and I felt bad...but that is a sucky reason...whatever...

change of subject...I just set up a new aquarium because my fish from last year died at the beginning of this school year...after O.J. (my fish, O.J. is short of orange juice or orange julius) died I tried more goldfish in my old tank (a 1 gallon fishbowl, which is really too small for a goldfish) but now I have a 5.5 gallon tank with four female guppies in there. I have a filter, a bubbler, gravel, and 3 plants in there...and I spent way too much money...LOL...but i love having fish...

Here is what I spent aproximately...

$10 - 5.5 gallon aquarium
$10 - filter
$5 - air pump
$2 - air pump hose
$2 - 4 air stones (they came in a pack)
$5 - 3 plants
$5 - gravel
$1 - tank thermometer
$7 - 4 female guppies
$3 - water conditioner and stress coat
TOTAL: $50

keep in mind that these costs are approximate, some cost a bit more and others a bit less...but ya...

i am getting off now...i have stuff to do...

Emmy R.

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