Pictures with my new camera...

rusty old trailer hitch from a trailer we used when I was younger...
Slide I played on as a kid in my backyard
pretty flowers from a bush in my backyard...



a kitten my mom got, her name is diamond
another kitten my mom got...his name is copper...






ok...that is all...time for bed...


Emmy R.

CAMERA!!!

just got my beautiful Canon EOS Rebel XS today...*sigh* i have had a bit of fun today trying to figure out how to work it (there are SO many settings...)

I would like to name it...but I am not sure what I should name it...and I am not sure if it is a boy or a girl...so maybe a unisex name...like taylor or something...

anyways...i walked around the house today and the yard finding random pictures to take...so much fun!!!

I am going to put them up tonight yet I think...or perhaps tomorrow...

Emmy R.

Just about to head to bed but I wanted to put up an update about today...and tomorrow...

I brought lunch to school for my sisters today...it was fun to be back on campus and to not have to wear uniforms there (: (I went to a private christian CRC affiliated school [From K-12] where we had to wear nasty little uniforms [though the uniforms were only started my 8th grade year...and at that point the whole school got them...]...ugh...horrible)

Anyways...after that I went to WalMart and was looking at Digital SLR camera cases...not much to see there...but i stopped and bought a few cans of chef boyardee, some applesauce and some dog food for a homeless guy I saw on my way to the store...when I got out though he wasn't there and I couldn't find him...

After that I went and picked up my friend and brought her to our highschool so she could show her son off...(and btw...she went to the doctor's again and it turns out that she had a miscarriage of the baby she had just found out she was pregnant with...but the test was positive because she had been pregnant and she still had the hormones in her...) ...so we hung out at school and then I brought her back home and then headed home myself...

On the way home I saw that same homeless guy again so I was able to give him the food and dog food...that was good...

Then I went out to eat with my family and babysat for a family that I have babysat for a TON in the past...

Then I came home and have been wasting my life in front of my computer...LOL...





Tomorrow (well actually today since it is after 2am)....I am sleeping in till whenever i decide to wake up and then going to chill around the house until my sister gets done with school...then I will be going to Best Buy with her and my dad for her to get her Laptop (gradation present) and me to get my camera (birthday present/I am paying for part of it). I don't remember if I talked about the camera I am getting in any previous posts but here is what I am getting...It is a Canon Rebel xs with an 18-55mm lens...see the pics...



so ya...I am super excited about that...but for now...to bed...I will post pictures of my camera (or at least taken with it) soon...

Oh and one other thing....I really think I want to name my camera...any suggestions?


Emmy R.

I am sitting on the computer and filling out some random survey where you put all your music on shuffle through iTunes or Windows Media Player and then answer the questions using each song that you shuffle through....

I just answered the question "What is your worst fear?" with the song Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day....

oddly that makes perfect sense...and it actually fits with how I am feeling right now...well only sort of though...




I went to the psychiatrist the other day and they upped my ADD meds...I thought that they were making me more anxious but my doctor said that it was probably because I was under medicated....



I hung out with my friend today...it was nice...I babysat her adorable daughter first for a few hours and then she came home and we hung out for a little bit...but I didn't talk to her about it yet...hopefully we can actually go get coffee or something so that we can get a chance to have a better conversation...

well we'll see...

later...

Emmy R.

"Ignorance isn't bliss - it's ugly"

"Ignorance isn't bliss - it's ugly", originally uploaded by Uhlissuh Rose.

I just saw this picture on flickr and I decided I needed to share it....but I am going to bed now....it's almost midnight now and I am getting up at around 6:30am ish...

Emmy R.

Today (6/1):

I hung out with my best friend and helped her pack for her move to Israel...

I went shopping

I tried to help heal a broken heart...a friend called this afternoon and told me her boyfriend had broken up with her...which is really bad since she has a 3 month old little boy with this guy...and then accompanied her to the doctor because she needed to check out some things to do with the IUD she had put in (IUD=Intra-Uterine Device...a form of birth control) which led to the doctor asking her to take a pregnancy test and thus finding out that she is about a month along with her second child...same dad...

I came home and sat in my room trying to distract myself from everything and watched some movies online...

writing this blog...(:




Tomorrow (6/2):

babysitting one of the cutest little girls in the world (who happens to be the daughter of my best friend, so i might just be a little bias...)

hanging out with my best friend after for a little while...

possibly bringing up a very important conversation with said best friend (i.e. talking about my issues with SI)



















Song I heard...and liked...

listen to it here
http://www.myspace.com/mollyjenson

it is called "Do You Only Love the Ones"

Lyrics (I could only find lyrics with guitar chords too...and I am lame and tired to I am just copying and pasting them here...and not deleting the chords...):

Intro is just going back between C & F

C                     F
Where’s your heart?
C                     F
Where’s this love you talk about
C                   F   Dm  G
Did someone hold a gun
C           F
To your head
C                        F
Who’s that girl you laugh about?
C                  F       Dm    G
Did a feeling do you wrong
Dm                   G
You’ve been gone to long

Em                 Am
Did you love her?
Em                 Am
Did you leave her cold
Em                   Dm      G
Did you see her through?
                  Dm          G
Or do you only love the ones who look like you?

C        F
C           F
Where are you now?
C   F
Are you afraid of being found?
C   F Dm G*
See I’m alone when you’re around
C F
Silly girl,
C   F
What can you see from way up there?
C   F  Dm  G
Is that the world in devil’s clothes?
Dm  G
Looking down your nose

Em Am
Are you lonely?
Em  Am
Are my scars too deep?
Em  Dm  G
Do you have them too?
  Dm   G*
Or do you only love the ones who look like you?

C F
C F
Listen, love
C F
To a melody for you
C  F  Dm G
Would it change your point of view
  Dm   G
Or do you only love the ones who sing your tune?
  Dm   G*
Or do you only love the ones who look like you?



















That's all for now...i will let you know what happens as far as the conversation I want to have tomorrow...

Emmy R.

recently...

I have been getting really really lazy with posting blogs and such since right before exams and such...but here is an update...

I have been home for about a week and a half and I am still enjoying it! It is quite weird though because I am beginning to realize how much I have changed since this time last year. I guess it is probably because I am putting myself back into an old situation...anyways...

I just had my 19th birthday! (: yay for being able to legally drink in Canada...hahaha....

I just was checking out the PostSecret blog and found a secret that I totally could relate to.

twloha.com

It made me remember one specific time where I was at the grocery store with my friends picking up a few things and I needed to buy and one of the things I needed to get was Band Aids because I was running out. I head over to the area where the band aids and such are and I am looking at the boxes trying to find one that is hypo-allergenic and latex free (i think I have a slight latex allergy or an allergy to the glue on the band aids) band aid. Anyways, I am sitting there picking out some band aids and my friend comes over and says, "Gosh, how do you go through band aids so fast, what are you, a cutter?" I stopped and looked at her and couldn't come up with a response. She sort of started to chuckle and then i did too because I had no clue what the heck to do. Normally I would make some sort of comment about how they shouldn't make fun of that sort of thing because it is a serious issue, but since at that point I had quite a few healing cuts on my arm I just didn't know what to say...so i chickened out...this was back in late January/February-ish when I had the huge backslide.

Anyways, on a happier note I get to see my friend Laura tomorrow, I am going to her house to help her pack for her move to Israel and we are just going to hang out...I am not sure how much we will be able to hang out over the next while but it will hopefully be a lot since she leaves on the 15th for Israel and then I will likely not see her for about 2 years. Anyways, I am not sure if I want to try to talk to her about the whole self-harm thing right away or if I want to wait for a little bit so we can just hang out first or something...

Oh and I have another little tidbit to share...I just found out that I am actually not 100% Dutch...I actually have a little bit of Jewish in me...I guess somewhere why back in my family line one of my great great great great great great great grandpas married a Jewish girl. Another thing I found interesting was that my family was actually a royal family until he married the Jewish girl and then he got like taken out of the family line or something...

anyways...time for bed! I have a lot to do tomorrow...well not really but I am getting up rather early...so to bed I go...

Emmy R.