July 11, 2009

Just remembered that i typed out this poem/word vomit thing the other day...so here you go...I think it is from almost a week or so ago...but that doesn't really matter...

Without answers
Bombarding my mind.
The school year to come.
What will I plan?
Classes already chosen.
But extracurricular?
Will I return to
Or will I skip it
I feel as though I should return
But the person in my head
Tells me that
My problems
Are small
That I shouldn’t waste
Someone’s time with my
Another idea
Which I though of last year
Starting a support group
For people like me
People who:
Bleed to feel,
Bleed to numb,
Bleed to express,
Bleed to bleed…
Or should it be
An awareness group?
Telling people the truth
About the affliction
Of cutting
The truth about the issue
Making them aware
But in either situation
Would I have to
Bare my soul to a group of people?

Next year
More students will be attending
The college I attend
Five from the class below me
At my high school
What if they attend
My family still does not know
About my defective qualities
What if they told their parents
And it got back to mine…

Decisions to make…
Freaking me out…
Making me want to cut…
Summer vacation
No long sleeves
Meaning if I do
I must be more careful
The words I just typed
Scaring me
I don’t want to go back
To that hell
(Or do I?)

Word vomit
Is what some call this
Typing randomly
As the thoughts pour from my mind…
Calming me down
Making things
Easier to understand
Written out on paper
Also better than
Being written on my skin…

now for my movie and then sleep...

Emmy R.

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