Chilling in my room tonight and I though I would do a quick update on here. I have spent a lot of time the last three days babysitting! It has been really great to get a chance to see some of the kids I babysat for in the past (and a few new ones as well). Anyways, I have also made quite a bit of money, perhaps less than minimum wage but still it is nice to have a bit more money for next year...
Today after babysitting I went to Marshals to look for a new bathing suit and also to look for jeans. I love to go shopping but it can be frustrating, this time wasn't to bad though. I did not find a bathing suit or a pair of jeans, but it did find a great pair of shorts, which i also needed, and a birthday present for my sister. My sister is headed off to college next year to a private college in the northern part of the state i attend. I am so happy for her that she seems so excited. Anyways, she is going to be running for the cross country team there and has to be there early which means she wont be home for her birthday. I found a cute frame that says "sisters" and then has a cute definition after it (which i would share but i don't feel like digging for the frame) and has room for a 4x6 photo which i put a picture of my two sisters and i in. I also got some cute card things that have an "A" on the front which is her initial. I think she will like it. I also want to add a few more things and also add a note about college and how much I have enjoyed my first year and perhaps some advice about the first year of college.
Basically my life has been pretty boring lately. I have struggled a bit with cutting, but i didn't give in and there have been more good days than bad days. I just watched some of the new episodes of my favorite show "Degrassi: the Next Generation". Basically i have been chilling a lot. which means I sleep a lot, and I sleep in late...i am going to try to not make the sleeping in too much of a habit anymore. I want to still be ok and not have to make too much of a major adjustment when I go back to college.
One thing that has been on my mind a bit since the end of last school year was something my RA had talked to me about. She asked me to think about perhaps being open to talk to some people about my cutting. She said she knew some people from in the dorm who also struggle with cutting and that she though that it could be good if we were able to be like accountability partners or something...i am not sure exactly what she had in mind...but it sort of makes sense...i mean it would be great to have someone who really understood where I was coming from but at the same time it would be hard because it could possibly be a trigger...
Also related to that, i was thinking about, at the end of last year, that it would be great if i could help to start a support group or something. I am now thinking that it would be cool if we could start some sort of awareness group. I think that that would be very helpful because so many people don't understand the issue.
Both of these ideas are great at their very heart but both could have so many issues and so many scary parts to them. I mean in either one of them what would happen if I were asked to share my story to a larger croud. I don't think i could deal with that. Next year there are four more students coming to my college who I went to high school with. What if they heard, told their parents, who in turn told my parents (such is the small-town-ness of my high school). Anyways, i just am still not sure what I want to do, and every time I think about this i come to the same conclusion that I just don't know.
Ok...off to bed...i am getting my hair cut in the morning...so i have to get up earlier than usual...
Emmy R.
No comments:
Post a Comment