To tell or not to tell...

yet another post...

I figured I would write on here that I am considering talking to my RA (who knows about my past struggle) about how I messed up. The thing is though, I think she is going to ask me why I did it. and The truth is that I just don't know why I started again. There was really no defining moment, I just did it...perhaps because of a buildup of stress? The only thing about it is that if I tell her then she has to tell our RD (the guy in charge of our dorm who lives in the dorm) and I don't really want him to know about it...

I just don't know what to do...my school has a free counseling center and I suppose i could go talk to them, but I really don't want to tell a complete stranger...much less I don't want any of this to go on my record or anything...also I have never officially had any therapy or anything, I basically stopped before on my own...so should I try to do that again?

I really trust my RA and I think she is an amazing person, but I don't really want to dump on her...but no one else really knows my story...I suppose I could just tell her that I am struggling with it, but she will just want to pray with me...and I honestly can't say if that will help...

OK...well got to go...I have a test to study for...and some sleep to get...

Let me know your thoughts...

Emmy R.

gah...I just don't know what to do...any advice???