November 13, 2008

Did she already know?

I have some things I would really like to talk to my RA about. I know I have told her about the self-harm, but for some reason I have this feeling that she already knew before I told her about it.

I have a theory as to why she would know, but to make that theory make sense I need to tell a story. A couple of weeks ago one of my friends and floormates' grandma died. When I found out about it I told my RA (not like i ran off and left my friend crying, but I happened to run into my RA later on that evening) my RA mentioned that it was good that she knew and that it is important for her to know these things so that she can help the people on the floor to the best of her abilities. She also mentioned that she had to tell our RD because it was also important for him to know that sort of thing so that he can know how best to serve our dorm.

Anyways I am now wondering what all that applies to. My RD was also the teacher of my Prelude class and for that class we had to write an autobiography, and in that autobiography I discussed my self-harm and it's impact on my life.

Also when I told my RA she asked me if my RD already knew about it and I told her that he did, in fact, already know about it. This also makes me think that she has to tell him that sort of stuff, and I wonder if the relationship works both ways, because if it does that means that she already knew about my self-harm before I told her.

I am not sure how I feel about this whole thing. I don't really like the fact that my story might have been told without my permission. I feel that this is almost an invasion of privacy, my story should be mine to tell or to not tell.

Well that is all for tonight. I am going to study for a Biology test tomorrow!

Emmy R.


Not the usual said...

You mentioned doing a "God blog" a few posts back, it'd be interesting to read it.

I too was brought up as a Christian, now sadly a hardened atheist. And when I say Christian, I actually mean the real thing, not a nominal Christian. I used to speak in tongues (I laugh at this now); church every Sunday morning without fail; tithing; worship (eyes closed, hands raised); Bible weeks; prayer meetings; youth group; evangelising to school friends... you name it! Jesus was my life, leaving was (can still be) hard.

Anyway, it'd be interesting to read about your currently-hesitating faith when you have the time.

Not the usual said...

Ah, Emmy, I'm sorry, please don't feel pressured into doing it. I think I'll stop commenting here for a while now.

Remember: It's your blog, which means you write what YOU want, WHEN you want, IF you want. And those are principles which can be applied more generally to life. It's not about being selfish, more about setting boundaries when you need to.

Best wishes from London.