April 21, 2009

The Counseling Appointment

Just a quick note about my counseling appointment that I had today before I go to work. I will hopefully write more after I get back from work.

Basically I was freaking nervous before I went. It is hard to open up about personal issues with a complete stranger. I was second guessing myself and if I should even go to the appointment...

Anyways basically I talked about my friend a little and the counselor just listened and asked questions when necessary (sometimes it was really necessary to prod me on, though she didn't ask any questions that made me uncomfortable). I never talked about the cutting, but I have an appointment next week at the same time and hopefully I will be able to bring that up next time. I just wasn't ready to talk about it with her today. I would like to talk about it though. She basically validated for me that it is okay to still be going through the grieving process. That validation was VERY important to me! Quite possibly the most important part of the meeting...

Basically I was crying the whole time, tears welling up in my eyes but not really coming down my face, only two tears actually fell. I think crying is important, but I also have a hard time crying in front of others. All in all the meeting was very therapeutic for me and I was able to get a lot off my chest.

Anyways, I said more than I intended in this post and I might perhaps post some poetry/prose/word vomit later tonight or tomorrow about this but I think I said a lot...

Got to head off to work!

Emmy R.

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