April 14, 2009

not on your arms

Not on your arms again
Not on your arms
It’s too hard to cover up
It’s getting warmer now
Your arms will show
Someone will see
The cuts
Your cousin’s wedding
This summer
A spaghetti strap bride’s maid dress
They will all see
They will see that you are a failure
At life
That you cut yourself to deal
(Who does that?)
You are a freak
No one loves you
No one cares
Don’t let them see
That even you can’t love yourself
One look at your arm
And you’ll scare them all away
No one can love you
Not even you…
So cut yourself
But remember not on your arms
Too hard to cover up
Your stomach
Your legs
Much better
You never even show that skin
And you want to know why?
Because you are a fat tub of lard
Yes you are
Cut yourself
Make it all ok
All ok
All ok
Cut yourself
Because you can’t even be pretty
Your nasty body
Fat and
Riddled with scars
No one could love you
Not even you can love yourself...

Another ranting poem/prose of thoughts going through my head...

I want anyone reading this to know that I have not cut myself in about a week (judging from the healing from my last session which is almost done since I have never cut myself very deep, just enough to see the blood...) anyways...all things considered I am doing fairly well...

perhaps another post at some point this week or something...

Emmy R.


Megalulz said...

Emmy you are a beautiful person, I don't care how you see yourself. You are exactly what guys look for: kind, gentle, thoughtful and caring. Those qualities come across so clearly in your blog.

One day you will meet a guy who will love you more than anything else, scars and all, I'd be happy to place large amounts of money on it.

I do so like your poems =) They express how I feel sometimes so well. There's just something about reading someone else's thoughts on matters which are near to your own heart.

Hang tough, ickle Emmy.

Anonymous said...

wow, hun, your blog is blowing me away. you are amazing. can i turn this prose into a song? id give you all the credit!
let me know.